remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we're so committed to being not committed
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