My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
