we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
