sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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