K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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