i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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