i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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