she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize