Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
