The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
