I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
