I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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