what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
