You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
tequila makes me forget i have legs
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
