Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize