dude i'm inner monologue high
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
