addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
