apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
