Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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