No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
