Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We are all done wearing pants today
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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