We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
