apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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