Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
