i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
well, you know. whores of a feather.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
