Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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