So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
