Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
