No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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