i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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