just survived the first fart of the relationship.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize