how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
my liver is dry heaving
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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