that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
