i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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