I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
