I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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