some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Terrible idea I love it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize