trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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