How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
