Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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