I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm at about main and main street
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
