she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do vagina's smell?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
