i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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