Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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