My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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