As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
