Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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