Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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