pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
