I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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