I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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