at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
