i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
