You work out of a Hotel?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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