after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
