But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
