Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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