You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
