well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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