dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
